Tuesday, May 13, 2008

What Time I am Afraid...

It's late. Too late to be up. But, I am. And, I'm tired. When I'm tired, I tend to worry.

Tonight, I worry about my son. Through this whole scoliosis thing, I've gone back to doing more research on NF. That's always a mistake. I read the stories. I see the faces. Then, I worry.

What will happen to Michael? What other complications will he face? Will there be more surgeries? More pain? What does the future hold?

Then, I remember.

God.

He's in control. It's something I have to constantly remind myself. The "bad" things in life come to give God glory and to help us lean on Him. Michael's scoliosis and NF are doing that.

I want to cry. Partly, because I love my son and realize I don't let him know that as much as I should. I want to cry because I am afraid. I want to cry because I realize how my Lord loves me and holds my entire family in His hand.

"What time I am afraid (11:33 at night), I will trust in Thee."

"Casting all your care upon Him, for He careth for you."

I am so grateful for my Father who loves me and knows my heart.

I think I'll go to bed. But, before I do, I am going to give all my fears to the One who cares. Then, I'll sleep soundly with Him watching over me.

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