Sunday, July 13, 2008

Welcome to...My Life

I'm a mom. I think I've mentioned that before. I am an ever-changing mother. Sometimes I'm a cuddly mom. Sometimes I'm a nagging mom. Sometimes, I'm a fun mom. Other times, I'm a boring mom.

Last night, I tried to be a cool mom.

All the kids had just gone to bed. I was taking the garbage outside when I came across a huge brown toad. I would have thought it was a bull-frog, but, as I have several young children, I am schooled enough in my reptiles to know that frogs are green and toads are brown(ish). But, this thing was the size of a bull-frog.

Bull-toad?

Anyway. At first, I thought, "Too bad the kids are in bed. They would love this!" Then, much to the horror of some of my girly-mom friends, I am sure, I had an idea.

"Why don't I just bring it in the house and show them? That should get me some points for being a cool mom!"

So, that's just what I did. Mr. Toad was very docile and let me pick him up without any kind of chase around the driveway. Feeling very proud of myself for not being grossed-out, I walked into the house and went to the base of the stairs leading up to my 4 year old son's room.

"Seth, come down here! You gotta see this!"

"What is it?" he asked with eagerness in his voice.

This was going to be great.

Then, it happened.

I had remembered that frogs were green. I had remembered toads were brown. I had forgotten that toads have a defense mechinism.

Squirting. Oh yes. This toad began to squirt all over me. It was dripping off my hands. It got on my skirt. Still trying to be the cool mom, I actually waited a bit to see if it would run out of juice.

It didn't.

I turned from cool mom to girly-mom. "Ewwww!!! Gross!!! OH, YUCK!!!!" I ran out of the house and tossed Mr. Toad onto my porch.

Seth asks again, "what is it?"

"Nothing, Seth. Never mind."

Try to be cool and get squirted on.

Welcome to my life!

10 comments:

Dee Klaver said...

:O Andy and I had such a great laugh.. I am sorry honey, but it was just so cute and funny.. Well, wait.. that's because it didn't happen to me!!.
Dee

just a girl named jenn said...

I am still laughing! I even read it out loud to Chris, and now he's laughing with me. What a funny story...gross, but funny! God bless cool moms everywhere!!!

the reynolds said...

Vicki! You did it again!!!!! You are too funny (and sometimes the unfortunate recipient of the bad end of many deals?!) I didn't know toads squirted!!!!! I've always heard you could get warts, my children threaten each other with, "watch out - it'll pee on you!" I've never had a bad experience with a toad!! ha ha.....I'm still laughing! Sorry!!!!!

Greg said...

I am a New York Times bestselling author working on a new book about mother-daughter relationships and thought you might want to contribute a story. Please visit my blog for information about being interviewed for “Mom's Little Angel.”

Gregory E. Lang
Author of “Daddy’s Little Girl,” “Why a Daughter Needs a Dad,” “Why a Daughter Needs a Mom” and more.

Stefanie said...

OH MY WORD, THAT IS DISGUSTING!!!! You are SO much cooler than me! I didn't get NEAR the bullfrogs Thursday night, let alone PICK ONE UP! GROSS!!!!!!

becky said...

LOL! That is hillarious! You are too funny sis! I can't believe you even brought it in the house...I will have to let Dave read this!

JulieMom said...

Wowza. And to top it all off, you probably had to mop the floor, didn't you?

Being cool is just not worth it. ;0)

Anonymous said...

I guess I will never be a cool mom, my kids chase me all around the house wehnever they find a frog or toad. I usually have to run in the house and lock all my kids out until they let it go. I give you props for trying to be the cool mom, but yuck!

Anonymous said...

Oh by the way that anonymous was Sarah Hinds, I forgot to put my name.

Jenna said...

Ok, I have had many a toad pee on me. We had a whole colony of them living in a whole in our yard once. This story was hilarious!!!