Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Beautiful Moms - Kind Words

"She openeth her mouth with wisdom: and in her tongue is the law of kindness."
Proverbs 31:26

"Keep thy tongue from evil, and thy lips from speaking guile." Psalm 34:13

Have you ever seen a mom who looked so very pretty and sweet - until she opened her mouth and yelled at her children? Instantly, the beauty fades away and reveals the angry monster within.

My angry monster came out yesterday. Only my children saw it, though. Thankfully no one of importance witnessed this flaw in my character. How embarassing and tragic that would have been!

Wait a minute...whose opinion of us matters more than our children's? We are shaping their lives to either live for Christ or live for themselves. When they see the angry monster come from their Christian mother's mouth, it is enough to scare them away from the path of Christ. Why is it that we - I'm sorry - I attempt to be sweet and loving and kind to complete strangers while I justify harsh words towards my young children?

I could "justify" why I became angry and yelled at my trembling children. I could give "reasons" why they drove me to behave badly. None of those reasons hold water, though. The only reason I snapped was because I wasn't in God's Word. I was not walking with Him - the One who loves and protects children. I was acting in my vile flesh and only considering my rights and feelings.

"But whoso shall offend one of these little ones which believe in me, it were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and that he were drowned in the depth of the sea." Matthew 18:6

Usually, we conservative Christians like to aim that verse at the abortion activists or the child molesters. However, moms are slowly breaking their children's hearts and destroying their spiritual lives each time they "fly off the handle." Have you seen the look in a child's eyes who is being yelled at? It is fear or it is anger. It is not a look of repentance and learning.

Yelling (I could say "speaking harshly", but let's not try to make flowery what it truly is) at our children does not edify them or train them in the "nurture and admonition of the Lord." Not once do I see Christ yelling at His people. Oh, He judges them severely at times, but do we ever get the impression that He is yelling? I read the books of Ezekiel, Jeremiah, and Revelation and "hear" His voice speaking firmly but not a maniacal God screaming at the world.

How dare I yell at my children?! Each of them loves God and truly wants to do what is right, but they need some leading. If they argue with each other or disobey me, it is not for me to get angry because they've not done what I want them to do. It is up to me to guide them back to the right path and show them the ways of God. Do I do this with a lilt in my voice? Most likely not. But, I can do it firmly with kindness. They may not enjoy being rebuked, but the look in their eyes is no longer fear and anger. There is a glimmer of repentance and they know I love them.

A Beautiful Mom speaks with love and kindness at all times. How is this possible while living in this fleshly body?

"...For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaketh." Matthew 12:34

"Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things." Philippians 4:8

Let us get in the Word and on our knees before God. Let us be thankful to Him for this gift of motherhood. Let us pray for the souls of our children and for their future to be filled with service towards Him. These lovely and pure things in our hearts will go far in helping us become women of virtue speaking kindness. In this way, you and I can become truly Beautiful Moms.


Little Family said...

I really needed this. Thank you. Samantha has been a beast ever since Molly came into our life. And there have been moments where I think (don't think horrible of me) "You know, I love Samantha, but I really don't like her right now." But I have gotten the reminder in my head how much more do we do towards Christ? How frustrated God must get with us, yet He still pours our his love.

just a girl named jenn said...

I am sooo convicted right now! Everything you shared is absolutely true. I can try to justify my harshness, but that doesn't change the fact that my lack of control is wrong and spiritually damaging to my children. Wow. This is probably one of your best posts ever (my opinion, of course!). Thanks, Vicki. I needed that!

Victoria said...

I think most moms understand the sentiment "I don't really like her right now" - it's seeing these flaws in our children that prompt us to train them. It's the response to this that is important. And, you're right, the unconditional love and His longsuffering becomes so much more amazing once you've become a parent!

Thanks, Jenn for your encouragement. I was just as convicted when the Lord gave it to me. If we moms could remember to hold one another up in prayer in this area, we may have more peaceful homes!

Carolee's Corner Canary Islands said...

I am sooo much more patient with my "second" family of kids (Rebekah and Leanna) than I was with my older ones. One of the most important things I believe, as a parent, is that when we do offend them by yelling, or losing our patience, that we ask for forgiveness, and admit what we did was wrong.