Monday, April 6, 2009

Thoughts and Feelings - sorting them out

Note: This post is extremely vague, but writing it has helped me sort through my feelings.

Feelings of anger and bitterness well up in my heart, my being. I am tired of the "drama" in my life. I am tired of fighting these feelings. Sometimes, I want to pick up the phone and speak my mind to this person who has hurt my family members. But, then, a still small voice stops me. I know I'll just regret it. I think.

I am afraid the one who has acted badly for years will come out looking like the victim while another will be unjustly judged. But, then, I know it's all in God's hands.

It is in times like these my faith is tried. God has been faithful to show me His way is perfect. All things work together for good - in His time. I must remember that now.

Lord, help me to keep my eyes on You and trust Your will, Your plan, Your way. Man will fail me continually, but You are perfect. You are my Father. You are the Righteous Judge.

Day by day, hour by hour...giving it all to Him.

4 comments:

Persuaded said...

learning the exact same lesson here... it is a hard one♥

but He is such a good teacher, right? ((hugs))

Little Family said...

It's such a hard lesson to learn too. Thanks for sharing your struggle. I will be praying. You are such an encouragement even in your time of need.

Mrs. Bee said...

Praying darlin, I wish I could help more. But know that I am praying. It is a hard lesson, very hard. God is good though. He knows all of our trials and gives us the grace to get through them.

Joyful Help Meet At Home said...

Wow I could have written this. Same situation, and thoughts and feelings. I don't want to become bitter either. That fine line is so hard to find sometimes. It really helps me knowing that in my situation this person has had opportunity to fix things and refused to do so, refused to even look at or return a smile. Bitterness is etched in their face now. Many suffer at their hand, and though I wish not one more person will fall victim to them, I know I am not alone, that we/I am not the first or the last. That the only fruit that will come of to them is bitter, sour....maybe wormwood.

Through this God has taught me to pray for resolution with a true desire for that to happen. I was disappointed that it didn't occur. Looking at them I am beginning to pity them, becuase as much as I hurt, and my family, and others they have victimized, they are worse off than us.

In a book I read this expression which proves so true over and over.

Hurt people, hurt people.