As I was sitting with my ten year old daughter in the OR recovery unit yesterday morning, I looked up above her bed and saw a familiar monitor. Three readings - heart, blood oxygen level, blood pressure - all in green. I was instantly taken back to 6 years ago.
On August 2, 2005 I sat in the NICU next to the bassinet of my 2-day old baby girl. She arrived exactly 7 weeks early. She was tiny and not quite ready for this world. She was hooked up to an identical monitor for 12 days. It would beep and set off alarms. I spent many a long day in her little area....holding her, watching her, praying for her. I'll never forget the first time she really bonded with me. I had been released from the hospital on August 4. I had intended to arrive at the hospital the next morning around 6:00, but, as it was the first night of decent sleep in over a week, I slept in a bit. When I arrived around 8:00 a.m., the nurses had just finished a 2-hour long ordeal of putting an IV into my tiny daughter. She was screaming as hard as a premie baby could scream. She was so upset. Had I come early, there would have been nothing I could have done....but have my heart broken as I'd helplessly stand by waiting for the trauma to end. Instead, the Lord spared me that and had me walk in just in time for the nurse to hand me my baby. As soon as Gloria was cradled in my arms, she began to calm down and nestled in for comfort. She knew I was her mommy - the one who loved her and would comfort her.
Three years later, I was in another hospital room. This time, that of our oldest son. He had had back surgery and was hooked up to IVs full of fluid, meds, and morphine. And, there was the monitor - keeping track of his vitals. Through the beeps, I sat with him. Through the pain, I held his hand. Though he hurt, he knew when I was there - his mommy - the one who loved him & would comfort him.
I looked from the monitor back at my 10 year old laying in the bed yesterday after a procedure that required her to go under general anesthesia. She didn't look quite as helpless as her baby sister did those years ago, but almost. She wasn't in near as much pain as her brother had been when he was exactly her age. Yet, I held her hand. Why? Because I'm her mommy - the one who loves her & will comfort her.
The beeping monitor has been my companion a few times so far in this journey of motherhood. I have to wonder if it will be my companion again. If it is, I will hold my child's hand, love my child, and comfort him or her. I can, because I know my Father is with me - loving me and comforting me all the while.