Monday, October 24, 2011

Missing my husband...for a season

My husband is currently snoring lightly on our couch.  He's been pulling some late hours and comes home pretty exhausted.  Though I attempt not to become weary during the harvest seasons, I never seem to succeed.  I always end up at the point of tears and miss my husband so much.  However, I was recently reminded what a GIFT it is to actually miss my husband.  Some women, which I cannot comprehend, don't miss their husbands.  Some are glad when he's gone or it doesn't make much difference to them one way or the other.  God has blessed our relationship in a way that, after 17 years, we are still best friends and love to be together.  Oh, it's not all rosy and perfect all the time.  But, it IS pretty nice. :)

Yesterday, the adult members of our family got together at a nice restaurant to just enjoy some time together.  This dinner had been planned for a couple of months and included my mom, my brothers and their wives, my cousin, aunt and uncle - an all-around fun bunch.  Because the constant rain this fall has resulted in the harvest going later and because it was actually sunny & dry this weekend, I had to attend the dinner alone.  I'll be honest - I was pretty sad about it.  I had a bit of a pity party.  No, I wasn't mad at my husband.  I just missed him.  I missed not having this little date with him.  I was lonely as I drove our big van out to one of our favorite dining places without him.

Then I arrived at the restaurant and sat directly across from my cousin.

My cousin who became a widow 8 years ago when she was the age I am now.

My cousin whose husband was a farmer and died while doing a routine project on their land.

My cousin who has had to raise her 5 children alone.  At the time of the accident her children were 14, 12, 3, & twin boys who were 1 year old.

My cousin who drives to family get-togethers without her best friend all the time.  My cousin who can't just pick up the phone and ask her partner's opinion in matters regarding parenting or paying bills.  My cousin who goes to bed alone every night.  My cousin who misses her husband every day of her life. 

My cousin's husband died three & a half months before my husband had the accident that very nearly took him from me.  I was pregnant with our fifth child.  Her life is very much a reminder of what mine could have been like.

As I sat across from my cousin who was smiling and laughing, I realized that I am blessed to miss my husband.  For a season.  Not a lifetime.

He sleeps on my couch tonight.  He will work hard again tomorrow.  I will miss him.  I will be grateful, for I am abundantly blessed.

5 comments:

Andrew and Esther said...

I loved this. It was a wonderful reminder to me. Thank you for posting this!!!

jen said...

beautiful.

CHeL said...

i love reading your blog. not sure how i stumbled upon it. maybe because you're a friend of jen? i was missing my husband very much when he was finishing grad school. but, like you, just so thankful to have him in my life. this was a good reminder.

Elianna said...

...aww... ♥

Jamie Parfitt said...

You pretty much said it all. We widows want to say, "Your loneliness is so short." But it doesn't seem short to you. Help me, Lord, to see others' pain as being as big as mine. I used to cry every single time Ken went on a business trip. I tried not to. I thought I grew out of it. But that oneness is like our necessary food. Only now that Ken is dead have I tried to get that close to God. Ladies, don't wait! Get close to God now, without leaving your husband out of it. Somehow we were created to all three be joined as one. Maybe the key is, "godliness with contentment is great gain."