Are any of you still reading Desperate? Are any of you done with the book? Maybe some of you are still hoping to find the book and/or begin it. After a long absence from this blog, I have had to re-read the chapter I will be posting about and it blessed me all over again.
Chapter 8 is entitled, Escaping. Sarah Mae is, once again, painfully honest about her own escape method - internet addiction. While not into anything evil, per-se, she was addicted to the internet via blogs, research, possibly even social-media. Like Sarah Mae, I will not hammer the Internet. The point is she used the Internet as a way of escape.
Our age is full of stay-at-home moms addicted to FaceBook, blogging, and Google. A decade or two ago, moms were addicted to soap-operas. Moms of all generations are found having adulterous relationships. Why? They are trying to fill their need of real relationships with virtual relationships.
"I really believe that because we do not have the community support families used to have, young mothers with little children are more and more drawn into alternate realities, to places that are big escapes from the mundane life." - Sarah Mae
We need to support one another with REAL relationships. Relationships that offer support, encouragement, love, and prayer. Without a real person reminding us from time to time what our real purpose is, answering our questions when we feel inept, giving us encouragement when we've hit the proverbial wall, we moms will seek a relationship in a virtual sense just to have something to hold onto.
"It is during the times when we are most overwhelmed with feelings of inadequacy and depression that we are most vulnerable to a snare." - Sally Clarkson
Motherhood is stressful. It is challenging. It is wearisome. It is boring. All of these things will make us feel inadequate and worthless. We begin to look for a way to make life better, more exciting, or more worthwhile. We just want to take our minds off of all the areas in which we are failing. Some mothers get a career. Some get a blog. Some get 1,000 friends on FaceBook. Some get a boyfriend. All of these are ways of escaping.
Sarah Mae encourages readers that have fallen into the sin of addiction to be honest before God. He already knows what we're doing...we just need to be truthful and repent. He is compassionate and merciful. He will give us the grace and strength to conquer that thing that has a hold on us....our imagination, a wrong relationship, the Internet, the telephone...whatever it may be.
"If we are feeling lonely, then we need to figure out ways to find like-minded friends with whom we can cultivate healthy relationships. If we are weary, we need to build rest into our schedule." - Sally Clarkson
Our first and foremost relationship must be with the Lord. We must be addicted to Him. Spend time with Him every day. Talk to Him. Listen to His voice. Cry out to Him and seek His wisdom.
Our next relationship needs to be with our spouse. Get on the same page or else life will be even more of a trial. Talk with him. Dream with him. Laugh with him. Snuggle with him. Make your romance REAL and you will prevent destructive fantasies and affairs.
Finally, you need a relationship with a like-minded woman. A friend you can feel safe with that will not judge you, but will be honest with you. A friend who may not have all the answers, but has an ear to listen and a heart to pray. A friend that has shoulders big enough to bear your burdens. Just check out your shoulders to make sure you can bear hers, as well.