I have been saved for almost 35 years. In all of those years, never has my commitment to Christ been more challenged than in 2013. Not my faith in Christ, but my commitment to Him. Was I going to follow Him and do what I know is right?
In some ways, I failed Him terribly. My sinfulness and selfishness led me where it always leads - to hurt, regret, and brokenness. God allowed me to reach that end in time. Then He was able to work.
I spent days crying. I got back into His Word. I prayed and begged God for His forgiveness. He forgave me. I asked Him to create in me a clean heart and renew a right spirit in me. He's still doing that work. I did not ask Him to love me. However, I feel His love more than ever. In the last month, He has done things to prove to me that He still loves me…so very much.
His unconditional forgiveness and love have humbled me. I am unworthy. I am undeserving. But because of His love and forgiveness, I am more committed to Him than in all of my 35 years of salvation.
In 2013, I became aware of the extent of my sinfulness, selfishness and weakness. In 2014, I am finding out the extent of God's grace, love, & strength. He is good and I am committed to Him.